INSTITUTE OF HYPOCHONDRIACS
This certifies that you :
MARTIN CHEDD
are a valued member of the I. O. H., having
undertaken a period of probation where every minor ache or strain has been blown
completely out of proportion.
The Board has noted that during your weeks probation your limp managed
to change legs twice and you opted out of the Snow Technique morning by wearing
inappropriate footwear. In this regard you have reached a level of distinction.
This certificate is valid for a period of one year. In such time it can
authorize you to take any time off work or opt out of physical sex with your partner or
partners.
Please find attached your complimentary ankle support.
Signed by The Committee
