FANCY YOUR CHANCES ?
by Ian Grimshaw
Thumbing through the N. Devon guidebook the other day. I came across an alternative grading system, of which I'm sure, you're quite familiar. If not, you've spent too much time indoors. This system imparts far more information than simply how hard a climb may be; it gives you your chance of survival after choosing a particular route. This is the SF - or survival factor - of a route; add numbers to this and a simple and practical assessment emerges. Zero obviously represents the ultimate achievement, a route where the chances of survival are nil. Then as the odds of survival increase so do the numbers up to 6 where such risks are minimal.
Here is a brief outline of the system.
| Survival Factor | Description |
| -1 | Death may well occur before reaching the start of the climb. Has been found on some South coast zawn climbs or on climbs when you are relying on Steve Shackleton to navigate in with his GPS. |
| 0 | Annihilation of all members of the party - without divine interference. |
| 1 | Survival of seconds possible, (unless you've tried to give Anna advice). Permanent incapacity certain. |
| 2 | Survival more or less assured, unless divine interference. Permanent incapacity likely. |
| 3 | Temporary total disablement, much loss of brain cells. Dependant on such factors as choice of landing zone, whether or not second is asleep, or proximity to Paul's Helly Hansen. |
| 4 | Nasty shock and a squeaky voice. Loss of clothing, skin and pride. All climbs fall into this category if you partner Dave Waine - take a torch and a large first aid kit. |
| 5 | Main danger is asphyxiation due to inversion of chalk bag or concussion from Steve H. dropping one of his gadgets. |
| 6 | Completely safe. Mainly found in Peak District (unless you're sandbagged by Lee) and in the cocktail bars frequented by married climbers. OK, Martin? |
So next time you're away for the weekend, don't pick the routes at the grades you can do : decide on the level of commitment and thrill you want. Choose how much gear you need to leave behind - and pick a (un)suitable partner! And above all, remember to pack the pampers!